How does a best friend turn into a total stranger? /
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At one time, you two were inseparable. You’ve decided to share your deepest, darkest secrets with this individual. This was the person who was privy to your darkest dreads, your wildest aspirations, your most vulnerable spots, your greatest triumphs, and your most abject failures.
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It’s strange to think about a person who was once an integral part of your life as if they were a complete stranger. He or she is a non-native speaker. Irrelevant people. Not adversaries. You are complete strangers who happen to have some common experiences.
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When ties are severed so harshly that you pretend they never existed, how did that happen? When the slashes are so deep that nothing is left to cling to. There comes a point when the rift is so great that your existence is irrelevant.
This idea appears to be quite elementary. You should be able to maintain contact with the person you love if you love them so much. They say “We can still be friends” (or something to that effect). I don’t see the problem with getting together for a cup of joe. When something significant happens in your life, is it inappropriate to text your friends and family about it? Is it really inappropriate to wish someone a happy birthday? Why do I feel the need to worry about them if nothing has changed? So as to inquire about the recent employment advancement?
It’s a lovely idea to consider the possibility that we might keep in touch and treat each other kindly. If you’ve ever tried to end a romantic relationship and move on to a healthy “friendship” phase, you know how difficult it can be. All of our preconceived notions and prejudices come along for the ride. With us, you can expect the same clumsy verbal exchanges as always. To add insult to injury, we now bring bitterness and resentment.
It seems that effort has been abandoned. Disagreements arise. Being around them makes you feel lonely. As a result, a new acquaintance is made. A rehash of old events. Generally, you are more reserved. You tend to drift off more often. Someone’s emotions have been hurt. It’s uncomfortable to talk to each other. Sin is master. The human condition evolves. Over time, emotions dissipate. Eventually, a couple will drift apart. False friendships are formed. As a form of self-preservation, we forget for the sake of our emotions and pride.
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Counseling can help if you’re still hurting after a relationship that ended, or ended repeatedly. The goal of therapy is to help each person discover their own unique way forward. Likely, the relationship served as a defining factor in who you are today. This is a story about regaining one’s identity after experiencing loss.
Putting yourself first may require you to cut off all contact permanently. Many times, it hurts too much to have this person in your life at all. On occasion, we are obligated to maintain contact with a toxic person due to a shared interest in a common cause, a shared business interest, or similar factors. You need to set new limits and standards if you want this person to remain in your life.
Ultimately, the state of the relationship can never be better than the sum of its parts (the two people). It’s only possible to control yourself.
These problems with my pal group have plagued me for a considerable amount of time. Back when I was trying to make a good impression, I would go out of my way to be the nicest person possible by calling frequently, fretting over scheduling, and so on. Still, there were occasions when I realized they gave a hoot about me. Over time, I realized that everyone, including my friends, was only looking out for themselves, and that realization hurt. When I realized that most of them would rather have a boyfriend than a best friend, I finally made up my mind to stop caring about them and to stop expecting anything from anyone. Interestingly, the issue I just encountered is the other way around. When I and another girl went to a pub with our boyfriends, a friend of mine (whom I didn’t particularly like) became angry and insisted that we stop meeting at that pub and instead go to the ones she preferred. We didn’t care for her manners, so we sent her outside to stew while you watched. I know it’s cruel, but what if she doesn’t see that she’s wrong, too? Personally, I don’t think a friend should force their pals to do their bidding. Do you have any thoughts? This is a fantastic article!
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