Updated at: 05-06-2023 - By: Craig Huey

“Pass the rum cake, please.” There are some rum cake recipes that pack more of a punch than others, if you know what I mean. The point is made. It’s not just the rum, but also the amount and method of its incorporation into the cake that makes it special.

Holiday Rum Cake Recipe


1–2 quarts of rum

1.25 ounces of butter

Sugar, 1 teaspoon

Size of 2 large eggs

Dried Fruit, 1 Cup

1 tablespoon of baking soda

Soda Water, 1 Teaspoonful

just a touch of lemon juice

One-half cup of dark sugar

1,500 milliliters of flour

a half a cup of chopped pecans

Try a little bit of the rum first to make sure it’s good. Isn’t it great? It is safe to proceed now. Go ahead and grab a sizable bowl and a measuring utensil. Double-check the rum. PERFECT execution is required.


If you want to test the quality of the rum, pour a level cup into a glass and down it as quickly as possible. Repeat. To make the frosting, whip 1 cup of butter with an electric mixer until light and fluffy, then add 1 teaspoon of thugar and whip again. As a side note, the rum should be of the highest quality. You should get a new cup. The second quart can be opened if the first one is empty.

Put in two large eggs and two cups of fried druit and whip until fluffy. A drewscriver is all that’s needed to free a druit that’s become stuck in beatters. A second round of “simple the rum” testing for tonscisticity. After that, strain a half pint of lemon joice. Mix in the butter that has been chopped and the drained nuts. Incorporate 1 tablespoon of brown sugar (or another shade of thugar) into the mix. Wix mel. Heat oven to 350 degrees and grease a cake pan. Put the whole mess into the coven and ake it. Bo to ged, and check the rum one more time.

Written by: Bill Worrell

Liquor Over the Holidays

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You’re constantly leaning on things (tables, chairs, the floor, walls, and other people).

The empty tube from last year’s Christmas wrapping paper is always a good choice for a good headbutt, regardless of age.

“I’m glad you decided to visit my head.

We ask that you always keep your arms and legs inside the vehicle and that you wear your seat belt.

Don’t give the animals any food and stay hydrated byor have a conversation with the ghosts.”


I can’t handle the complexities of modern life any longer. “I wish I were five again.

Ignore worries about age-related vision loss. Nature’s way of preventing you from getting a nasty surprise every time you pass a mirror.

“You’ve entered my head.

Too much is going on, and it’s all getting too complicated.

“I wish I were five again!”

Sometimes friends are the fruitcakes in your life. It’s true that some people are completely off their rockers. Some of them are completely drenched in booze. Those opinions can be steadfast. There are some pleasantly tasty ones. But in general, they are wonderful companions to have.